You never really know someone till you live with them, they say. I thought I knew a little bit about
Danielle (pictured above on non-uniform day) before we started co-rooming this year at school, but it seems not.
Quick context. I teach Film this year, so spend about half my time teaching in the IT room. For some reason, the IT room doubles as Daniel's office where he chooses to sit right up front, 'working'. I say some reason because he is one of the few people who has an office. It's next door. It serves its purpose. It has walls and a door that closes so well that when he goes in there and shuts the door I can no longer hear nor see him.
And he chooses to sit at the front of my classes working. That is working when he isn't asking my students questions, or comparing ring tone downloads with them, or playing music.
Furthermore the school's 'other' printer is broken, so every teacher in the school must go to the IT room to print anything. And, being Argentina, it would be unthinkable to enter a room without greeting and exchanging pleasantries with every person there.
As such, my lessons run something like this.
Me: OK, guys, let's get started, plenty to get through today. Books open, key question on the board, are there any question?
Danny puts his hand up.
Me: Er, you're not actually in the class, Daniel.
Daniel: (Cryptically) Don't forget.
Me: Oh-kay, thanks for that. So, we're looking at use of sound today, have a look at...
Door opens. Teacher arrives making excuse me, 'time out' sign, they mime that they need to print something. This mime is confusing, because it conveys to me that they understand a lesson is trying to get under way, and it would be rude to disturb it.
Teacher then mouths hello at a couple of students before catching eyes with one they know quite well. A kiss on the cheek, a como te vas? and they're sitting printing.
Me (irritated): (Directed at the teacher) OK, can we start? Good, so, sound in film. The use of diegetic sound is important to understand because...
Daniel's mobile ring. He eyes an apology. Again, a confusing paradox, because almost as he dramatically switches his hey-look-everyone-I've-got-a-trendy-Razr-phone phone off, his laptop starts chuntering out something tuneless and trendy tinned beats.
Girl in my class: Che, Danny, que canción buena! A mi me encanta... (Starts singing along)
I look at Daniel. He mimes, sorry, and plugs in his headphones. And starts head dancing.
At this point if he stood up and started dancing, singing Lionel Ritchie ballads, I swear he could not become any more annoying.
Me: Right, we were talking about the use of sound?
I play a clip that I have ready. I kid you not, this is what happens. He looks up, carefully removes his headphones, and says.
Daniel: Por favor, podes bajar el volumen?
What do you mean, turn the sound down!? It's my frikkin lesson!! We're doing FILM. We're analysing SOUND. Sorry if it's interfering with your ring tones, but I'm trying to TEACH here. Christ!
Door opens. Second teacher enters. Mimes can I print etc, wanders in, greets all students, sits down next to other teacher and they start talking.
Teacher: Che, Danny, can I print something?
Daniel: Sure thing.
Yeah, don't mind me. He slides back using the wheels of his office chair, arcs nonchalantly into his office, reaches out, grabs something, spins the chair around, kicks off repeating The Move, but with a block of paper on his lap, spins again through 180 and in one movement places paper in the paper tray.
He tries so hard not to smile. Girls are watching and everything.
This might even be cause to dig up the word 'smooth' from 1982, except he practices this when he thinks no one is watching. Berk.
He doesn't give the Wink and the Gun to the printing teacher, but you know it's in his repertoire.
Me: (Struggling to keep it together) Do you mind?
Daniel: Sorry.
Finally, I have got through.
Daniel: (Smiling) Don't forget.
The words Don't Forget WHAT are lost in the sound of the gunshot blowing out my remaining living brains.
