Bra comes off, shirt stays on.

Today - Medicals. Remise (cab) to hospital for 845am

There are few ice-breakers with new colleagues that can compete with today's little adventure. New staff must have a medical done. Therefore a happy 3 - the Director of Studies, a 37 year old man, the 'other new/chica' English teacher, who's 25 and myself (age not disclosed) - entered the waiting room to join a group of about 30 people sitting in a circle holding their own, er, 'samples'.

You go in, sign a form and receive a large questionnaire in Spanish, asking various questions, including one regarding how regular your bowel movements are, and a LOT of questions about your urine (stings? infections? blood?) Now, only our Director spoke (enough medical) Spanish to make any sense, hence answering these questions was a pretty public affair.

Oh, and Have you ever been under a psychiatrist? Have you ever become irritable? Do you flush your bowels every day?

Then, together, we had a blood sample taken, and we were given our pots to piss in. And when in Rome, we returned to our seats, with our samples, and continued to chat about anything other than the fact that we were holding our own pish.

Next up - ECG. Electro something, I think Sylvia Plath had some of this. I was called, I walked into a room, the nurse said something to do with la chamisa, and before I could stumble to the meaning I was having my shirt unbuttoned by the Argentine nurse. So not all bad but it didn't last. Strapped to the bed, with tubes and wires everywhere like a scene from Brazil I then had electrodes applied to my ankles, wrists and various parts of my chest before being told to leave now, gracias.

Then the X-ray. The Doctor called our Director in to translate, but then didn't say a word and mimed everything, except to an audience of one. Then, when our female colleage was called, a translator was required, this time to explain the immortal line:
'He says, um: bra comes off, shirt stays on.'

Finally, we were weighed together, and then had our blood pressures taken seperately. This is because rolling up a sleeve is a very personal and private matter and should be conducted only in presence of your doctor. Whereas carrying yer pish around for a morning is an ideal way to pass the time with colleagues and members of the public.

Bueno. Another day.