It's all about... you know... Hmm.

It's raining innuendo in my Year 7 classes at the moment. Bless them, but it's a worry. In Bog Standard Comp, London, there was no innuendo. It was blatant. Innocence is better, and funnier. This is from the last couple of lessons:

DF: Write any words that you think have positive connotations.

(Reading over the shoulder of a student) Sunshine, holidays, swimming pool, oral, Punta del Este...

DF: Same question. Shout out. Positive connotations?

Mariano: (shouting out, enthusiastically) Playboy!

Laughter. Mixed with embarrssment.

Mariano: (red) Sorry. PlayStation.

DF: What is the technique used when a writer us trying to tell you that something good is going to happen? Santiago, you know this, don't you?

Santi: (clueless, searching the emptiest part of this brain) Um...

DF: (promping) Begins with an F...

Santi: Ffff...

DF: Fore...

Santi: (Eureka moment) Foreplay!

Enough. Poor teens.

Running Man

I am a runner now.

The best thing about being a runner is that you get to use lots of new words. For example, I haven't had a meal or a drink of water for days now. I have, however, carbo-loaded and taken on fluids.

It also way better than cricket. You don't get all dressed up for nothing. No body comes up to you, 2 minutes into the race, and says, "Sorry, you're out, you have to sit out and watch for the rest of the day." And you can't drop a catch. And you don't have to explain what running is. And you're done by 10am, and you can go with your famly (who, unlike in cricket, are still talking to you) for brunch somewhere. They treat you like a hero because you ran for more than half an hour. It's lovely.

Furthermore, I get to wear shorts so skimpy they'd make a beach volleyballer blush.

Not to mention the value for money. For just $50 pesos you get a free hideous shirt, lots of new friends, all the Gatorade and water you can carry (3 bottles of each, if you hoard - this slows you down somewhat, and attracts odd looks from fellow competitors, but makes savvy financial sense), a free aerobics lesson (group warm up! 'Knees elbows, elbows knees') and approximately 2500 babysitters (at least, 2500 people who return your lost child back to you).

Bargain. Just do it, as we say.

Shambles

Left for work today in a bit of rush this morning.

I was standing in the lift, convinced there was something wrong. Was I wearing a belt? Yes. Was this tie ridiculous? No. What is wrong...

It wasn't until I got to the front door of the building that I realised I wasn't wearing any shoes.

Import Only

You know sometimes you go into a shop and ask for something that seems to you like a reasonable request, but seems to them like it is completely ridiculous?

This is sometimes because you are very ignorant of the subject, and the shopkeeper is very knowledgeable. This often happens in MAN'S PLACES like a garage or a hardware store. You might ask for one of those things for a light to go on. They start hauling out wiring and electrics, but you just meant a table.

Or you have a problem with your car, and they say, what seems to be the problem then? And you say, the engine's making a strange sound. And they say, like what? So you do an impression.

That look.

Well, this happened to me yesterday.

I was trying to buy a copy of Sony Vegas 9, a basic editing program for the school. I stopped in to a PC shop in Martinez.

After shuffling around for a minute, a guy ehind the counter asked me if he could help.

- Yeah, to you have any editing software programmes? I'm looking to buy Sony Vegas, or maybe Adobe...

He interrupted me a little.

- You mean, like, una copia neuva?

- Yeah.

- As in, a copy in the box?

- Er, yeah. With plastic and everything.

- But, you're gonna pay like $120US for that...

- Yes, I know...

- But... I can do you a copy for... on a disc, you know... (to his mate in the back) Juan? How much do we do...

- 12 pesos, Juan shouts from the back

- ... for 12 pesos, maestro...

- Yeah, I'm buying it for my school, so it kinda needs to be in a box.

- Ohh... Ahh... in that case, I mean, I'm thinking you're gonna have to... maybe search, on the web?... or try, like, down town... (to Juan) Juan? Where can you get... Yeah...?

And finally, to me, with a sense of certainty.

- Yeah. You're not from here? No. Well, they'll have those copies in your country. I think you'll have to get something imported.

Tiger Woods

Opening line of a student's homework. Crucial, comical spelling mistake.

Tiger Woods is known as the biggest player over the hole course.

Fair enough.

Multiple Intelligences

Gardner's Multiple Intelligence revolutionised approaches to teaching. You can do the test online here if you're very very bored, or need an ego boost, and think you might win. The basic idea is that if a student is struggling with the material, it may be because you are standing at the front talking for an hour, and Gardner's research indicates that this might be so boring for the students that they are incapable of 'showing' their intelligence. Whereas if you, say, varied what you did once in a while, they might actually listen and, call me a lefty, learn. Sensible chap.

I dug up an old lesson I taught in London where I taught at Bog Standard Comp. I found an annotation that made me chuckle. I'd annotated, in the margin of the resource I'd used with my old tutor group in 2002:

All these different intelligences, and yet in this group I can't even find one...

Barracas

Barracas was the barrio to explore this weekend gone. Calle Lanin, specifically: a fairly typical and forgettable working class street, until it was spruced up, painted and mosaiced by ex-resident and local resident Marino Santa Maria. Pictures tell the story. Check it out.