Toaster

Our friends, a Scottish guy and his American wife, are leaving this country next week after 3 years, and are selling up pretty much everything they own. He's fie Glasgie, and is not accepting any nonsense when selling their stuff, and had every intention of selling everything quickly and efficiently.

It's not going too well, although this may be in part because of his slightly aggressive sales style. The highlights:

1. Advert: Shelving unit. 180 x 60 x 30. 6 shelves.

Buyer: (Who'd driven half an hour to get there, looking at shelves) Hmm. Actually I'm not going to take them.
Glasgow: Fine. Em, can I ask why?
Buyer: I was expecting them to be taller.
Glasgow: (Dryly) OK, no problem. Sorry ma advert was so misleading.

2. Advert: Babies' cot

These guys did want to buy the item. They looked at the cot and said, Yup, we'll take it. And then stood there waiting, evidently, for the item to be given to them.

Glasgow: Wit? Well you can't have it now.
Buyers: Oh. Why not?
Glasgow: You'll no have noticed ma wee boy's sleepin' in it then.

3. Advert: Toaster.

Caller: Hi. Am I right in thinking that you are selling your toaster?
Glasgow: Yup. 25 pesos. (About 4 pounds)
Caller: OK. When can I come over and have a look at it?
Glasgow: You are joking. You do know what a toaster is? Toaster. 25 pesos.
Caller hangs up.