Hey, Kids... Leave Us Teachers Alone

How many people went into teaching because of Michelle Pfeiffer and Robin Williams? The greatest lesson I could ever imagine teaching would be for me to teach students poetry through the medium of street dance, and for it to end with all my students standing on their desks saying 'O Captain My Captain'. And some of them would be black.

But more on this in the following entry.     

The Times reported this week the following 'shocking' statistics. Yes, 'shocking' in inverted commas, cause I am frankly bored by the media portraying the county's schools as hell holes. For me, and this is echoed by colleagues who teach at much rougher places than I've taught, I would say that 80% of kids want to learn 80% of the time, and that's at the worst schools imaginable. So... that's about the same motivation as most of us have to do our jobs.  

But the Times-ly reminder of the moral decline in the UK ran as follows. Now obviously I'm not saying there's no problem. I'm just saying that printing this stuff perpetuates an image that will perpetuate the problem. Who's going to go into teaching, or send their kids to their local school, if they can avoid it, when we read stuff like this the whole time? 

 

Here's the stats, with my devil's advocate comments in calming blue:

School of hard knocks  
— 1,128 teachers were assaulted between 2000 and 2006 

OK. Let's look at this stat. 

There are 20,871 schools in England alone. 

In terms of assault, that's about 1 assault per 2000 schools every six years. 

I wonder what the stats are on doctors, dentists, nurses, marines...? Higher, I would guess. 

— A survey found that most attacks were on nursery nurses, special school teachers and learning assistants 

So 'most attacks' are not in mainstream schools or in mainstream classes.

— Another survey suggests that British schoolgirls are among the most violent in the world, with 29 per cent of English and Scottish girls aged 11 to 15 having been in at least one fight in the past year. 

No surprises here. The message of feminism has come through loud and murky - nowthat's equality!

But reading the article, Classrooms Have Become A War Zone (link at http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article3564297.ece)

reminded me of how different my teaching world is here.

This weekend I was chatting to a teacher from a school similar to mine. The ensuing conversation would have many UK teachers reaching for the TES.

- How are the kids at your place? I asked, Well behaved?

- Yeah, not too bad. She replied, emphasising the too, as if to imply she was playing things down a tad. Although, saying that, there is one boy... he's new so... But mostly, yeah, ok.

The one bad kid in the school! Hilarious. 

It's easy to remember, teaching such motivated and interested students, that it was not always thus. An Argentine bilingual private school is pretty different to a South London Comp. When you start teaching at a tricky school, you're constantly aware of being undermined. You're looking for the kid who's making a sly comment, or trying to turn the rest of them against you, or eating your lunch.

In my first week here, I sent a kid out of a class for asking a question. He was a 13 year old boy, and he asked me the following. Sir, what do you think Macbeth's motivation in this scene really is? 

I thought he was taking the piss, so I asked him to leave the room, assuming all his mates were about to snigger if I answered sincerely. Only when the look of utter bewilderment showed on his face did I realise he was being straight. (Outside I said, Great question. Why don't you ponder on that quietly out here. Come in when you think you now the answer. I think he bought it.)   

This probably sounds bizarre behaviour, but I really was so accustomed to fighting for every inch, and avoiding being undermined that I really wasn't prepared for... that.  

 

The language I used to use to describe new classes was very different in a London comp compared to an Argentine private school. All the kudos is reserved for teachers who do the best with the most difficult kids, respect reserved for those with enviable control of student: being complimented on your classroom management was everything. 

Ah well. For now, I'm happy to be hugged at the start of each lesson, and for people to say thank you whenever you do something for them (like your job). 

But puleease don't believe everything you read in the papers. You seen Juno? For me, sassy dialogue aside, the closest to accurate representation of teenagers I've seen in forever. Much closer than, say, Kidulthood.

Here endeth the lesson.