Over and Out.

(Warning: this entry requires some knowledge of, or interest in, cricket)

Holding to Boycott. Warne to Gatting. Ambrose to Jones. Flintoff to Ponting.

From time to time a single over in a cricket match is so sensational, so reflective of the best of game, so packed with incident that it moves immediately from cricket field to cricketing fokelore

Well, kindly add to the list : Fergusson to Paterlini.

To those of you, and there can't be many left, who haven't read about it, or heard about it already, from the mouths of taxi drivers or landlords or soothsayers, here's the full story, straight from the Hurlingham Horse's mouth.

The context.

Hurlingham v San Albano. Traditionally a meeting of gentleman and hoodlums, where the blood runs high and the insults fly, where Northern grit overcomes Southern spite. This occasion, a First Division Declaration League match, was to be no different.

San Albano wins the toss and bat.

Opening the batting is a figure of controversy, one M Paterlini, perhaps Argentina's most talented batsman: a man whose strokeplay is as sweet as his mind is sour.

I came on to bowl the 11th over, with the score 43-1 (Paterlini 19no), of a game that was moving along surprisingly quitely and sedately. The key word in that sentence: was.

This is what happened next.

The Over

Ball 1: The loosener.
Paterlini has clearly seen this bowler before. First ball he dances down the wicket and smashed a straight drive down the ground, over the ropes, through the trees and half way across the fairway for 4. "Go fetch your sheeeet, Englishman," he thinks. 47-1

Ball 2: The reply.
Straight drive that! You can't. Cause it's a wide outside off stump. Bowler has a polite word to the umpire. 48-1

Ball 2: The second reply.
Short and wide, hit into the ground to the fielder. No run. Order restored to the kingdom. 48-1

Ball 3: The beamer.
High full toss, mistimed to cover. Called 'no ball' for height. Bowler has another polite word to the umpire. "Shut up and bowl," Paterlini tells Fergusson.

Fergusson shuts up and bowls. Paterlini not ready. Various comments pertaining to "Shut up and bat" are heard. Some verbal sparring.

Bowler is still whinging about the no ball.

Umpires meet, tell everyone to calm down. Bowler told to shut up and bowl, this time by his team mates.

It was never a no ball. 49-1

Ball 3: The mis-field.
Short and wide again, batsman mistimes to cover. One R Butta, combative Australian, fails to stop a ball that is barely moving. 1 run taken. Batsman laughs at fielder. 50-1

Ball 4: The single.
All round good bloke Tommy Frances drives a full toss to mid off and takes a single bringing the far more interesting Señor Paterlini back on strike. 51-1

Ball 5: The mis-field: Part II
Short and wide, Paterlini again mistimes a cut but picks his fielder. Ball once again passes through hands and legs of one R Butta. Paterlini, laughing, says words to the effect of, "You are sh*t" to fielder. Bowler agrees. Fielder goes mental (and white, and a little scary).

Umpires intervene. Paterlini and Butta involved in verbal sparring. Captains intervene. 53-1

Ball 6: The straight one.
Not only straight, but swinging, and fast, as Paterlini tries to flick it through the off side, off and middle stumps are splayed by a Younis-like inswinging yorker. Bowler screams like a happy, yet angry dog. Batsman walks off. Slowly. 53-2

Folklore people. Tell your grandkids.