Ageing, Part 2

Having written, and then removed, a compairson between Blighty and Buenos Aires, because it was morbid and rather dull, I thought I would put this in its place.

This is essentially what I meant to write, but thought I had already written an entry exactly like it, called Ageing.

Turns out that was nearly 2 years ago. Which brings me nicely to the subject.

This is Ageing, Part 2. or Latest signs of my proximity to the maker.

1. Ageing or Aging.

The Oxford English Dictionary stated that it is grammatically correct to spell ageing as so, or aging. To me, the sound that would rhyme with 'gagging' puts me off, so I choose the word that would score higher in Scrabble. So that will be number one. I look things up in dictionaries, and Scrabble is as zeitgeist a reference point as I can muster. It seems a long two years. I guess that's aging for you.

2. Anecdotes

I have a growing sense of athazagoraphobia, the fear of that you have forgotten something, a chilling moment of hesitation at the start of every anecdote, as the voice in my head says, You've told him this already. What's more, you've told him this today.

3. These anecdotes often start with the year

Do you remember, in '94...

4. Star Wars to me is the Matrix to them

In a survey with my Film students, I asked them what I could do to improve the course. Several responded with something like: 'We could watch more up to date films.' I focused a lesson or two on Fight Club and The Matrix. I was informed, gently, that these were exactly the sort of 'old films' they were talking about.

5. Everyone Loves Raymond

Hilarious. I get every joke.

6. Coffee Culture

The 'Last Coffee Of The Day Deadline' is slipping back so far that at this rate I'm going to have to get up early for it to be early enough for me to have a coffee that doesn't keep me awake at night.

7. I am Post Ironic

Things I think of as being popular in my teenage years are once again cool. They are post-ironic. Take That, Beverley Hills 90210. I am flares. In a similar vein, bands that I think of as being fresh out of school, like Busted, are being covered by bands that are actually fresh out of school, like The Jonas Brothers (left -absurdly young 'people')

8. Sleep is the new sex

Lads conversations on the phone now sound exactly like they did back in the day, with one simple substitute. "Oh my God, I had the best (sleep) at the weekend. I (slept) for 6 hours straight. I've got that next day good mood feeling after that awesome (sleep). If I could bottle that (sleep) I'd (sleep) like that for the rest of my life."

9. Not understanding TV

There are adverts on television for things I find utterly bewildering. There was one on last week involving what appeared to be flying Gerbils, that were sort of superheroes, or possibly cleaning products. There was a time when I would have thought it was simply badly edited, but now I suspect that the frames of reference are so alien to me, that it's me.

10. Competitive Ageing

I was visibly delighted last weekend when I found out from Katie that friends of ours, who I thought were our age, were actually a bit older. Evil miser laugh and hand rubbing glee.

11. Grans

Grans used to be a bit dull. Now they're good company. Amiable, really. Well, we've got more in common now.

12. Running

I no longer run because I want to, or feel like it, or need to burn excess energy, or like it. I run to turn back time.

Right, TV and slippers time. Catch you again.