Tips For Teaching, Newport Style

On my first teaching placement, I was sent to Duffryn High School, a shining jewel in the Welsh crown of a town that is Newport.

I hadn't thought of Newport, or Duffryn, for quite a while, until Dylan forwarded me this absolute classic from youtube.

Truth be told I loved it. As a trainee teacher, you couldn't fail. As long as you got through the day without breaking down, you were considered a star. The staff were incredible, and the bell ringing for the start of classes was the modern day equivalent of the whistle signalling the troops to go over the top, except in place of German machine guns there were happy slapping slicked back hair gold hooped earring wannabe Goldie Looking Chain types staring you out down the corridor.

Actually, put Duffryn High into youtube a you get a fair idea of what the kids were like. I think Giant Conger Line says quite a lot. Let's all do the conger? Possibly kids I taught English to, come to think of it.

Anyway, here are 5 pieces of advice I was given while I was teaching there. I don't think you'll find these in the school handbook, nor in any other manual on teaching, I'm just passing on what I was told:

1. Day 1, during our introduction from our Professional Tutor who'd be looking after trainee teachers: "Well, the good news is that if you can teach here, you can teach anywhere. Then again, thinking of our staff, that can't be true, 'cause if you can teach anywhere, you wouldn't be teachin' here."

2. "Never be on time for a lesson. Let them get the fights and all that out the way first, and then go in." Head of English.

3. Professional Tutor on first day tour, as we were cutting across the car park between two buildings in the pouring rain. "Oh, we don't go down the covered passageway. It's a kids' zone, really. We call it the Bermuda Traingle. I think we had a supply teacher go down there once: never heard of him since..."

4. While I couldn't get any attention from my Year 11 class. Kid at the front, feet on desk, offered this: "Just shout at us, Sir. It's all we understand."
I shouted. No reaction.
"Never mind, Sir. When we're not in the mood, we're just not in the mood."

5. Year 10, while I was observing a lesson, without pasue for reply. "Sir, you got a job here? Do you want to teach here? Don't teach here."

Bless.