Because I like lists of things:
... films (in order): Beasts of the Southern Wild, Argo, Looper, Skyfall, Ted
... books: Heliopolis, English Passengers, Last Days of the Incas, How to be a Woman, The Psychopath Test
... TV: Mad Men, Season 5. Sure to jump the shark next season, but until it does... cheers!
...proudest achievement of 2012: Perhaps that I have not watched a single moment of reality TV. Not including the news.
... quote from a student: Student's homework was to interview someone from a different background about their education. One question was, What would you do if you won the lottery? This kid fail bad in Inglish.
... quote from my kids: The night after the epic Murray US Open victory.
Leah - "Daddy, are you watching tennis tonight?
Me/Awesome Dad - "No, why?"
Leah - "Good. Beacause I don´t want you to say 'shit', 'fuck' or 'yay'."
... man: Tim Minchin. Love that funky ginge...
... woman: Caitlin Moran, including and especially her views on witches.
... child: Dead heat. Leah made a massive comeback second half of the year, just when Maia looked like she had it sealed up.
... parenting fail: Dropping Leah off at nursery with neither her lonchera (snack box), nor wearing any pants.
... first world problem: Having to take the 'bus' to pay an overdue electricity bill. This took over 45 minutes, meaning the sun wasn't on the pool when I got home. Swim chillier than preferable. @FWP
(First World Glossary: A 'bus' is like a large taxi, but has many more people in it. The driver doesn't ask where you're from, and it doesn't take you to your destination. You get off the minute you recognise anything near your chosen destination. It is very cheap and usually smells.)
... sporting live moment: In an unparallelled year of sporting magic, Jessica Ennis' 800m, Andy Murray at US Open, Scotland scoring a try against the All Blacks... but it was probably my goal against Maintenance in the school 7-a-side league.
... YouTube: Best of Zidane. Go on, click the link, the guy was a genius.
... time-wasting site: Fail Blog. Thank you, particularly News Anchor Fail Compilation 2012.
... bar: Maximo's, Barranco
.. fact: That on average, women speak 7000 words a day, whilst men only speak 2000. In Scotland, I believe the ratio remains the same, but the figures are reduced by a thousand.
Her allowance: "Ei, Billy, you gettin' sum more beer?
His allowance: "Aye."
... piece of advice: Don't take your SmartPhone out in town. Buy a Pay-as-you-go for nights out.
... biggest regret: Not taking the above advice about the SmartPhone v Pay-as-you-go.
... worst moment in 2012: Probably when they mugged me for my iPhone. Or when the guy in Ayahuasca's offered to make me a 'special Scottish' cocktail, whereupon he gave me something that tasted like Tennants on Buckfast on Scotch, blended wi' pure shite.
... most embarrassing moment: Receiving a letter from my kid's school (which is my school) stating that I was last parent in the entire school to pay their child's school fees. And could I pay them please.
... best buy: Trampoline.
... lowest point as a man:
1. Trying to put up the trampoline.
2. Joking during football that I weighed just 43 kilos. At the end of the game, my opponent came up to me, quietly, and asked me if I really weighed 43 kilos.
... moment of ageing:
Sixth form student trying to cheers me up, after I said I was 'old'.
Student - "Come on, Sir. What age are you?"
Me - "35."
Student - "Ah, that's not old. That's my Mum's age."
Hmm... that's it, I think.
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