So you're from Scotland?

This is coming up a lot, in taxi conversations.



I just bring this up. Did I mention how they feel about Chilenos?

Things I Have Learned From Taxi Drivers, Part 1

Part I... because it's going to be a while until I have my paperwork in order to own a car, so I'm assuming there will be a Part II.

"Hey man, where you from?" 

I'm taking around 10 taxis a week at the moment - thank the Inca Gods they're pretty cheap - and the well-intentioned but monotonous conversation runs like in every other country in the world... until the left turn usually around Predictable Question 6:

The Predictable Routine:
1. No, I'm not from... Australia, USA, Canada, Greece... but interesting guess... um fae Scotland.
2. No, not long, arrived January 1st.
3. Great so far, thanks.
4. Yes, cebiche is delicious, and yes I will try pollo con arroz at the first opportunity. Rice with chicken, I can hardly imagine what that could taste like.
5. Yes, at 27 degrees it is quite hot, but I'm surprised you're all complaining about it.
6. Sorry, not quite sure I got all that. Chileans to do what to each other...?

So allow me to start on what I have learnt from Peruvian taxi drivers so far. Other than that every single driver I've had has a son or daughter who is now a doctor, lawyer (sometimes both) or is currently studying at Yale... this is what I've learnt.

They f*cking hate Chileans.

I knew they didn't get on - territory and the bragging rights to pisco - but I had no idea that the feelings ran so deep (amongst taxi drivers, who I believe are an entirely representative poll).

So I now ask this question to everyone, across the demographics (note: I know about 6 people here, family included) and across the demographics, the reply has been akin to that upon asking a kilt-wearing highlander, haggis dripping from his red beard, croft recently ousted in a clearance, having just watched another Calcutta Cup slip from his grasp, what he thinks of the English.

Like that. Except way stronger.

And particularly in a country most unlike Argentina, where people so do not wear their feelings on their sleeve. You'll get no strong opinions on anything, till you hit the Chile button.

Choice lines so far: 

Me: "Why don't you like the Chileans?"
Drives: "Well, we have a long a complicated history. Also, they're a bunch of fuckers."

Me: "Why don't you like the Chileans?"
Drives: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Scotland."
Drives: "Right, Europe. So you understand a little, the tension we have."
Me: "Oh, like Scotland and England."
Drives: "Yeah, but more like between the Germans and the Jews."

That some strong feelings you got there, fella.

La Razon is The Reason?

Maybe it's something to do with tabloids. From the front pages of La Razon - which seems anything but rational or reasonable - you would think that Peru was currently at war. Another day and another treacherous Chilean spy has infiltrated Peru!

Chile spy caught. Ha! No death can be too slow... 

And I would pray that this is photoshopped, but I doesn't seem to be. You could, at a stretch, say that conchuda translates to 'a woman who is a ball breaker'. But in all honesty, it's the C word would be a more accurate equivalent:

Come on, that's no way to speak to a lady.  

I'll let you know if I learn anything news. If I hear something positive about Chileans in a taxi, it'll be all over La Razon, cause I'm turning that guy in as a Chilean spy. They'll need to invent a whole new word to call him...