The Lighting Boys

When Danielle isn't delivering Milk Tray and being a complete tool, he is part one of The Lighting Boys.

School assemblies at the school are ‘improved’ by a dazzling lights display from The Lighting Boys. Led brilliantly by Milk Tray Danielle, and ably supported by the matching black –shirted Facundo and Gonzalo, you’ll find them at the back of the Hall, day in day out, not working so much as creating. Whether it’s information regarding a trip to Palermo Zoo or a reading of some sport results, you want it lit, they’ll light it. And then some.

Now, I do not understand the complexity of exactly what it is that they are doing, who has asked them to do it: I don’t even understand why. I know I don’t understand it because when I asked Daniel he told me, looking into the mid distance, nonchalantly spinning his Limited Edition Jedi keyring, that it was muy complicado, with clear inference that it was beyond my layman’s comprehension.

I was actually glad, because otherwise I would have guessed that it was some of the most unnecessary, over the top, and ridiculous lighting every, er, created. But, as he said, it’s muy complicado.

Again, it’s good that it’s such a complex business, because otherwise you have three grown men doing something like the following during announcements:

Inter House Maths Competition results. Read by a Sports Jacketed teacher in an otherwise totally darkened Hall in the perfunctory and emotionless way, as frankly befits the occasion. But one band of brothers will not be dragged into the apathy of this event. For they are The Lighting Boys, and no event cannot be saved by... well... lighting.

- (Voice of Daniel) OK guys 15 seconds till show time. No need to remind you guys that it’s the Inter House Maths results this morning. That’s right. The. Big. One.
- 5 seconds. 4… Gonzalo, cue red spotligh. Nice.
- Right, Facundo, ready with the subtle green backdrop… And fade in… Beautiful.
- OK, here we go, the results. Hold your nerve boys. OK, First place. Spotlight prize-winning envelope in red… Nice. Now, follow prize-winner from middle of hall with brilliant white spotlight. Keep it steady… No, that’s the ceiling. Get the light
- OK, it’s ok, she’s up again. We’re back on track. Spotlight her to stage. Spotlight her. OK, she’s up there.
- Love it. Now, transfer white spotlight focus to Headmaster… Transferring.
- NO! You’re blinding him! He can’t see! … Cut spotlight. We’re dark out there people, get it together! Fade in and increase green backdrop! Yes, just do it!!
- OK, good save Facundo. Green is good. OK, they’re on to second place…
- Change of plan, we’re going with green. Yeah you heard me. Green is good. I’m feeling green for second today. Nice. Nice movement Gonzalo. Green is second.
- And yellow for third. Yes, I’m loving that. I am loving that. Follow to edge of stage and… cut!
- House lights and… we’re done here.
- That’s a rap boys. Nice work. Very nice work.
- What’s that?
- Thank you, Gonzalo. No, I dunno where it came from. Green just was second today, you know?

Wipes stress induced sweat from brow, another story for the pub on Friday. Chest stretching black jumper to the max, Daniel disappears, with magnificence. And you thought he was just the IT guy.