Telefonica IS The Matrix

(Information: Put simply, our phone number has changed. We don't know why and we don't know what it is. Will update as soon as we know more).

There's a scene in The Matrix where Keanu Reeves is running around a city like an idiot trying to escape 'agents' by finding a ringing phone so he can go home.

Well that fairly accurately describes my current battle with Telefonica, only for agent read Customer Service Offical (more frightening, harder to kill). Oh, and there's no Oracle.   

I'd previously thought The Matrix was a film sort of about religion, or perceptions of reality or something. Little did I know that it is really about one man's battle against seemingly impossible odds that is the attempt to secure and maintain a Telefonica landline in Argentina. 

 

We didn't ask for our number to be changed, but Telefonica, Argentina's BT who somehow make BT look competent, changed our number a couple of weeks ago.  

Now, it was actually as easy as you might think to find out that even though your phone still works, you can still make calls, however the number to that phone has inexplicably changed.  

Call me Morpheus, but I worked this all on my own. Here were my clues:

First clue: well, this may sound obviously, but no one was calling us. Whilst I assumed I had annoying 'put Leah on the phone' or something and rightly therefore had received a worldwide phone boycott, I hypothesised that would sill want to speak to Katie?

Second clue:  All those wrong numbers. I'd say the ratio of right/wrong numbers in this country is about 1/2. As in for every 3 times the phone rings, 1 is actually for us. This is an oft mentioned irritation of life here, and people blame 'the switchboard', 'the national grid', 'the economy', 'the energy crisis' or 'Menem'. But we started receiving a monton of 'wrong' numbers, by people adamant that they'd dialed correctly. Suspicious.    

Third clue: A mystery call from none other than Telefonica, who called to ask if we were making many local calls. We said, Er, some, not that many. They said goodbye. The plot thickens.

Fourth clue: I phoned our phone from my mobile while sitting next to the landline. I heard a ring tone and yet the landline remained silent! I realised now that I was on to something.  

Fifth and final clue: Who stands to gain? Our number still exists, our bills must still be paid, and yet no phone is attached to the line. Telefonica have clearly adopted the London Parking Meter system of charges: just because you weren't there, don't have a car and there was no sign doesn't mean you don't owe them 120 quid.

So we are currently paying for our line rental for a number that exists only in theory. And do you wanna hear the best part? I can't get our old number back unless I am phoning from it.

Therefore to get our phone back I assume I am supposed to phone our number, then run around Buenos Aires listening for a ringing line, then call Telefonica from there. 

Sound familiar? And that bit didn't end too well for Neo, did it? Several bullets to the chest from what I remember.

But at least it was quick. 

(Above) Morpheus explains how to obtain a dial tone in Argentina. Tough break.