Car Insurance

Late for the start of American Idol, Katie took
 a rather unnecessary shortcut to the TV room.

I got my car insurance done last Friday. The previous owner's insurance, which I'd 'inherited', was up, so I had to face the music.

Last time I got car insurance, I was living in the UK, in Brixton to be precise, and the process took an age. The experience was like a bastard mix of Top Trumps with Top Gear:

Make and model? (Pause as I skim the manual) Peu-geot... 2-0-7.

On or off street parking? On street if I park in a rush, otherwise off. I'm crap at parking. Definitely on street if I'm reverse parking. I fluked one in the test, haven't managed one since.    


Average miles per day/week/month/year? 
For simplicity can we go with 1/7/30/365?


Engine size? Medium.  


0-60? Both, but you've got to change gears or it makes a screamy sound.


Driving capacity? I'm pretty sure it's 2 units.


Registration and therefore car age? It's an X reg. Guaranteed that'll mean more to you than to me.


Fuel injection? Pump... people inject that stuff? I guess, with the price now...
 
Any claims in the last 5 years? Like you don't have everything I've ever done on your little screen there. I'm not giving you the satisfaction of repeating it. Not falling for that, thank you. Next? 

Any claims involving injuries to third parties? Just read your screen, man!


Do you always check your mirrors before manuevre? Does checking-if-hairstyle-is-affected-by-open-window count? (Silence). Put 'yes'. 


Any outstanding fines? Some unpaid. Don't get me wrong, I've had some 'good' fines, but truth be told nothing I could claim to be 'outstanding'.   


What's the fastest you've ever clocked in a 30 zone? Now you're talking. About 32.

Ever hit and run? I learnt to drive in Liverpool. As they say there: if thay can run, yow can run.


Ever text while driving? What does everyone else put? They put 'no'. Good. 'No' from me it is.

OK, let me put in the figures... No we're not going to insure you. Good bye.  

Now, in Argentina, the country with the worst driving accident rates in the world, I strapped myself in for what would inevitably be the insurance grilling of a lifetime: the Spanish version of Top Gear Trumps - Superior Triunfo Engranajes - the full extended edition.

The conversation went like this:

- OK, a few questions. I braced myself, best Spanish listening skills at the ready. Do you want full or third party insurance?
- Third party. Yes! 1 from 1.
- That's fine. And was the car made here or outside of Argentina?
- Um... outside... um... sorry? 
- That's OK. OK, that'll be $195 a month. Any questions?
- No chance. 

Sixty seconds, papers signed and job done. Who needs to know if you've got a history of dangerous driving or a car that's got functional brakes?

Keep it simple and do what the locals do: buy Argentine and crash into whoever the hell you feel like.