"Were there phones in 1988, Sir?"

In class, last lesson of the day.

Writing an assignment, a kid in my Sixth Grade class (I think that makes them about 4) comes to my desk, pointing at the date of publication. 1988.

Kid - Did they have phones then?
Old man - Fuck off What's that? 

She is serious.

Old person - OK, yeah, I think that phones have been in common use since the 40s. 


She is calculating.


Old man - Yeah, the 1940s. 

Yup. That is as cool a phone as you
would find in 1988. FOURTEEN
years before you were born. 

Kid looks at me in distain, and I realise that it is I who is somehow stupid, though I cannot imagine how. She puts her hand to her cheek, and makes the universal SmartPhone mime: palm flat to cheek.

"No, but like... proper phones."

Give me strength.

"Er. No, nothing cool was invented until you were born. In 2002. Now go sit down, and write with a pencil on paper. That's right, paper and pen. Like they did in Biblical times."

Seriously. I teach people who were born in 2002.