Argentina, Adverts

The youngster who wrote the now famous 'reading makes you thin' article is simply part of a wider truth. The Argies kick ass when it comes to advertising. It's got to be a lot to do with one of the most adored qualities of the Argentine; their gift of the gab, the accolade afforded to the particularly talented blag artists is that of a 'chanta'.

And I've been meaning to put these on paper for a while, so here are my Top 5 Argie Adverts. Without sounding too Chris Tarrant on you.

1. For some sort of pill. I don't know what type exactly, but something good.

Opening shot:
- Door opens, guy stands their holding flowers, girl throws them in his face. He looks confused, and a little scared.
Cut to:
- Queue of people at the water machine at work. Woman turns around and throws boiling water in the face of the man behind her. He screams in agony.
Cut to:
- Her in her office, opening a packet of pills. She takes one, and everything become sunny and pretty and rosy and lovely again. Kittens are fluffy, pink is pretty and cushions are soft again.

Katie mentioned that it may have been a negative representation of women. After commenting on what a long word that was for a pretty little lady, I took her point. After all, everyone knows that when a woman has PMT, she likes to sing and go rollerblading.

2. For 'Fargo' bread.
Opening shot:
- Girl in kitchen making sandwich for her fella.
Cut to:
- Cheesy looking guy, jeans and white polo, sits on couch. Look up, sees girl arriving with his sandwich. He looks really happy. Smile with gleaming teeth.
Cut to:
- White background, guy leaning towards camera, girl hugging his shoulders. He says: 'Pan? Me encanta pan!' - 'Bread? I love bread!' - and they look at each other and laugh.

3. Doritos Ad.
Fit rubia (blonde) is jabbering on the couch, holding court, while we see the fantasies of the two guys (obvious), and two girls (violently throttling her). Click the link or youtube 'Doritos, Rubia'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xp-eDHQMV8

4. Big fat girl is sitting on the couch, eating but otherwise doing nothing. Her parents come downstairs, and shoot her a look of concern. Father syas: 'Miranda, we've bought you something that will help.' Mother produces... a fiction book!

5. For Mate (ma-tey: national drink, much like tea).
Two lads get into a car. Passenger sits on something, holds up a belt, and looks accusingly at his friend:
- What's this, Fernando?
- What do you mean? It's a seatbelt.
- A 'seatbelt'?
- Yeah. They're a la mode in Europe. Everyone is wearing them.
- Huh. (He looks suspiciously at it, as if it is a snake of some sort.) OK. Well, what do they do?
- They stop you flying through the windscreen if we crash.
- (Still suspicious) But don't they look a bit silly and uncomfortable.
- Good point. Let's not wear them and drink mate.
Turn to camera and smile.
- Voiceover: 'Mate: a taste of heaven.'

OK I made the last two up.

6. Literally just saw this one... Lollypop advert, yes, as in the sucky sweet, featuring schoolgirls dressed as schoolgirls: pole dancing. Not at all inappropriate...