Bad Job Times In Buenos Aires

'And I've forgotten what the balance is

Between psycho and analysis' 

Ross Sutherland

So these are a couple of the highlights of our friend's attempt to secure a managerial job as a 25 year old female. Let let's call her Kath, for the duration of this entry (anonymity essential, there are literally tens of thousands reading this blog), 

I am literally spoilt for choice when writing this. You see I could tell about the time she was training professionals in interview skills in English, and realised the job her 'student' was applying for was a) exactly what she had been looking for and b) that she was better qualified, and then went to his interview. 

I could tell you about how she applied for a job as a guy in order to get a foot in the door. After receiving a reply saying she was 'exactly what they were looking for', you might imagine how long the phone interview lasted. And they even told her off for lying. 

And I could tell you about the time that she was sent for a medical by her potential future employers. After going through the same ridiculous palaver that I was subjected to this time last year (See February, Bra Stays On, Shirts Comes Off) she then had to do a pregnancy test.

Yes, a PREGNANCY test. 

Which she did. The next test, the cardio scan, can only be carried out if you are not pregnant. So she asked if she could have the result of the pregnancy test, and was told that that information was for the company, not for her. And then they did the scan. 

But what I actually want to share with you is the psychological exam. Amazingly, to most of us, it is standard practice to go through a psychological screening before you are welcomed into most jobs. or schools for that matter: most of the private schools do psychological testing for kinder, primary and secondary.  

This should really be a separate entry, but my favourite part of the test was the Word Association. The psycho read out a series of adjectives, and you had to instinctively reply, Yes (eg Yes, that sounds like me) or No. However, altough Kath's Spanish is very good, it fell down after roughly question 10... of 50. Kath explained that she didn't know what a word to number 11 meant, and the psycho simply replied: 'Please answer only yes of no.' 

So she continued, answering Yes or No to qualities she didn't even know the meaning of, and the psycho diligently wrote down her responses. 

She was then asked to draw a picture of a child in the rain. She draw a child splashing in a puddle. As she handed over her drawing, it became clear that she had made a Big Mistake. The psycho pressed a red button under the table, the white coats circled their prey. The psycho looked at her sketch, shook her head and said. 'You haven't drawn an umbrella. (Pause) That means you are not prepared for life's difficulties'. 

Kathy did point out that she brought an actual umbrella to the interview that day, even though it was only a little cloudy. Didn't that suggest she was prepared for life's difficulties? No, apparently, was the answer.  

Finally, she was left in a room with lots of pencils, an enormous desk, and lots of sheets of paper. Do what you like, was the instruction. Clearly there was some sort of analysis going on regarding how many pencils were used etc etc, so Kathy spread out all of the paper across the enormous desk and drew a giant rainbow.    

On returning home, she told her Argie mate Gloria all about this hilarious day. Gloria didn't appear to find anything about the day strange at all, until Kathy said she seemed to get in trouble when she drew the kid in the rain. 

'Oh my god,' said Gloria, 'Please tell me you drew the umbrella.'